Farmer Nappy’s “Chippin down de road” song comes to mind when I think about couples and their disagreements.  He sings “I chippin’ down de road with meh own woman.”  One way for couples to agree or minimize their disagreements is to take on board chipping down the road with their own partner.

The vibe of “chippin down de road” can be a vibe of collaborating, understanding, and having mutual respect.  Couples chippin down the road, are gracefully moving together, and are unlikely to be in conflict.  It is difficult to chip down the road with someone unless you synchronize with them.

Couples counselors have used the analogy of dance for couples to find the middle ground while not compromising their own values.  It has been used to synchronize movement where two persons learn to navigate the steps of disagreement in harmony. In a dance, effective communication is the essential music that guides the couple through the routine and each partner takes a turn leading and following, expressing their perspectives with grace and openness.

The analogy of dance emphasizes the importance of collaboration. Like dancers who must synchronize their steps to create a seamless performance, couples must work together to find common ground. This involves active listening, where each partner acknowledges and respects the other’s feelings and viewpoints. It’s a dance of vulnerability, where both individuals expose their true selves, allowing the relationship to deepen and strengthen.

Mutual respect is the elegant twirl that elevates the dance. Recognizing and valuing each other’s uniqueness, opinions, and emotions fosters an environment of trust and understanding. As our Carnival journey unfolds, let’s work on “chippin down de road” as an opportunity to strengthen our relationships, collaborate with our partners, and strengthen our bonds.  Happy Couples Carnival to all!

Jahllano … Medz Boss … Tafari  … Congratulations if you know any of these names because they are some of the global trending performers in Trinibad music.  You may not like their lyrical content nor their messaging but the Trinibad music genre is a true reflection of our environment. Trinibad is related to dancehall music, and the reality is that the artists often attract millions of views and comments on YouTube. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_K3q9Qj04cc&ab_channel=PunzEntertainment

A person’s creative expression is influenced by their surroundings, experiences, culture, and their interactions at all levels. In the same way a plant bends toward the light, and even at night, you can see the bend in the stalk and know which way the light will fall during the day, you can listen to these artists and sense their struggles caused by their environment. 
Cementing his position as belonging to the 14th century, the Prime Minister threatened to ban Trinibad music some time ago; a decree which in today’s world is completely unenforceable.  Fortunately, he seems to have moved away from that kind of thinking because if you want to add fuel to the flame, banning would certainly have done so. 

Another attempt at de-emphasizing the music was Minister Ayanna Webster Roy’s recent glaringly tone-deaf request to Trinibad musicians to be more positive in their creations.  
Like it or not, Trinibad music reflects the reality of our society.  If we want to change Trinibad music we have to change the environmental experiences of our people.  Such environmental transformations will occur neither overnight, nor by command. 
What is needed is a strategy to grow Trinibad, but the development of such a strategy means thinking far out of the box and requires identification of a strategic thinker with an interest in the positive development of our country.  If that strategic thinker was inspired to move from strategy to action, they would focus on changing the social environment and creating opportunities for collaborations, and conversations to introduce new ideas and perspectives fostering creative thinking. If that strategic thinker understood the potential future of Trinibad music, they would take action to ensure that our education system was restructured to improve student outcomes, whether academic or otherwise. That strategic thinker would invest time and resources into helping us understand the historical context of our country. The creation of our steelband industry is based on how we reacted to our cultural and historical realities. Trinibad music will continue to rise in popularity because it incorporates local slang, soca, chutney, calypso, and dancehall beats while reflecting the anger, anxiety, and violence which is our current reality.  A strategic thinker would recognize Trinibad music as a litmus indicator and create an action plan to help our society navigate our dismal reality and emerge as a re-energized people of fun and enjoyment.  

Trinidad and Tobago, the time is now for us to pivot towards the development of the creative industries. This means exploiting the interplay between ‘human creativity, intellectual property, knowledge, and technology’ to diversify our economy. Trinibad can help us. 

In traditional marriage ceremonies, the Priest says that the two shall become one but never gives a timeframe.  This journey to becoming one is often marred with differences and conflict.  A successful marriage requires that you answer the following 4 questions:

1. What are our shared goals?
2. What will our sex life look like?
3. Are we interested in parenting?
4. How will we manage our money?

Shared Goals
The early establishment of shared goals can create excitement and purpose as the marriage journey unfolds.  These shared goals not only guide the couple’s path but also foster excitement for a future built together.

Sex Life
Equally vital is open communication about sexual preferences, frequency, and boundaries.  Too often couples are embarrassed to talk through the details of how their sexual activities will unfold and this can negatively impact their need for intimacy.

Parenting
Parenting should never occur as an accident.  Bringing a human into the world is so important that it requires a deep discussion to ensure that the couple is aligned on the number of children, the timing, and even the approach to discipline and development.

Finance
Goal setting, sexual preferences, and parenting will only be successful if there is a meaningful discussion about financial compatibility.  Couples should openly discuss spending habits, savings, and financial goals, even if it results in maintaining separate accounts. Transparency becomes the bedrock, avoiding secret accounts and preserving trust. Honest communication ensures a clear understanding of how money will be spent and saved.

Becoming One
Understanding and addressing these aspects early on will create a solid, unified foundation for a successful long-term relationship. Failure to engage in these discussions may lead to future conflicts, separation, or divorce. It is crucial for couples to openly communicate and find common ground in these key areas to build a resilient and enduring relationship.

Author: Dennise Demming, MSc, MBA
Wellness Therapist, Communications Coach, Speaker
868 761 9426

The money you work for, taken from you by way of taxes, is being used for strange things. Would you approve using scarce foreign exchange for a management programme which allegedly includes training employees to communicate with the dead and self-heal with ‘white light energy’?

The Government of Trinidad and Tobago (GOTT) is a shareholder in multiple companies and conglomerates, which means the money they have taken from us is being invested in companies that may not be handling their resources transparently.

One example is the Parisot-Potter/Massy Holding issue which led to her resignation as Executive Vice President of Business Integrity and Group General Counsel.  Her resignation may have closed the door on Massy’s opportunity to investigate her allegations, but it does not end the matter. This case extends far beyond Angelique Parisot-Potter and is a powerful reminder of the systemic changes required to begin building a society founded on trust, integrity, and transparency.  Both private and public sector organizations should see it as a prompt to re-evaluate several issues, from the selection of service providers to the allocation of the use of foreign exchange.

The Parisot-Potter/Massy Holding issue can be viewed as a rallying cry which highlights the urgent need to change the way we work in both public and government sectors. We must put procedures in place that have built-in checks and balances to ensure that no chain of events can occur that can’t be later examined in detail. Every step of every procurement must be traceable, with clear evidence of how money or other resources are spent.

The (GOTT), as a major shareholder in Massy Holdings should be interested in the levels of accountability and transparency which are implemented in the organization.  To be clear: GOTT shareholding means citizen shareholding, making it necessary for citizens to understand what happened with Parisot-Potter and what were the key learnings. It is the money of citizens that is possibly being misspent.

Regulatory bodies and government institutions play a pivotal role in this process, establishing and enforcing stringent guidelines that hold organizations accountable for their actions. Companies, too, must proactively adopt ethical standards, conduct regular audits, and engage in responsible business processes.

Calling for a reset goes beyond mere rhetoric; it demands concrete actions and practices. Collaboration between the public and private sectors becomes paramount, to foster a shared commitment to rebuilding a society founded on trust, integrity, and transparency.