In traditional marriage ceremonies, the Priest says that the two shall become one but never gives a timeframe.  This journey to becoming one is often marred with differences and conflict.  A successful marriage requires that you answer the following 4 questions:

1. What are our shared goals?
2. What will our sex life look like?
3. Are we interested in parenting?
4. How will we manage our money?

Shared Goals
The early establishment of shared goals can create excitement and purpose as the marriage journey unfolds.  These shared goals not only guide the couple’s path but also foster excitement for a future built together.

Sex Life
Equally vital is open communication about sexual preferences, frequency, and boundaries.  Too often couples are embarrassed to talk through the details of how their sexual activities will unfold and this can negatively impact their need for intimacy.

Parenting
Parenting should never occur as an accident.  Bringing a human into the world is so important that it requires a deep discussion to ensure that the couple is aligned on the number of children, the timing, and even the approach to discipline and development.

Finance
Goal setting, sexual preferences, and parenting will only be successful if there is a meaningful discussion about financial compatibility.  Couples should openly discuss spending habits, savings, and financial goals, even if it results in maintaining separate accounts. Transparency becomes the bedrock, avoiding secret accounts and preserving trust. Honest communication ensures a clear understanding of how money will be spent and saved.

Becoming One
Understanding and addressing these aspects early on will create a solid, unified foundation for a successful long-term relationship. Failure to engage in these discussions may lead to future conflicts, separation, or divorce. It is crucial for couples to openly communicate and find common ground in these key areas to build a resilient and enduring relationship.

Author: Dennise Demming, MSc, MBA
Wellness Therapist, Communications Coach, Speaker
868 761 9426

The money you work for, taken from you by way of taxes, is being used for strange things. Would you approve using scarce foreign exchange for a management programme which allegedly includes training employees to communicate with the dead and self-heal with ‘white light energy’?

The Government of Trinidad and Tobago (GOTT) is a shareholder in multiple companies and conglomerates, which means the money they have taken from us is being invested in companies that may not be handling their resources transparently.

One example is the Parisot-Potter/Massy Holding issue which led to her resignation as Executive Vice President of Business Integrity and Group General Counsel.  Her resignation may have closed the door on Massy’s opportunity to investigate her allegations, but it does not end the matter. This case extends far beyond Angelique Parisot-Potter and is a powerful reminder of the systemic changes required to begin building a society founded on trust, integrity, and transparency.  Both private and public sector organizations should see it as a prompt to re-evaluate several issues, from the selection of service providers to the allocation of the use of foreign exchange.

The Parisot-Potter/Massy Holding issue can be viewed as a rallying cry which highlights the urgent need to change the way we work in both public and government sectors. We must put procedures in place that have built-in checks and balances to ensure that no chain of events can occur that can’t be later examined in detail. Every step of every procurement must be traceable, with clear evidence of how money or other resources are spent.

The (GOTT), as a major shareholder in Massy Holdings should be interested in the levels of accountability and transparency which are implemented in the organization.  To be clear: GOTT shareholding means citizen shareholding, making it necessary for citizens to understand what happened with Parisot-Potter and what were the key learnings. It is the money of citizens that is possibly being misspent.

Regulatory bodies and government institutions play a pivotal role in this process, establishing and enforcing stringent guidelines that hold organizations accountable for their actions. Companies, too, must proactively adopt ethical standards, conduct regular audits, and engage in responsible business processes.

Calling for a reset goes beyond mere rhetoric; it demands concrete actions and practices. Collaboration between the public and private sectors becomes paramount, to foster a shared commitment to rebuilding a society founded on trust, integrity, and transparency.

In the past 14 years, Trinidad and Tobago has operated without the collection of property taxes from its citizens, with the last instance occurring in 2009. While recognizing the Government’s need to generate income, I am concerned about the inefficiency and incompetence with which they manage already collected funds.

Media headlines frequently expose instances of public fund mismanagement and wastage, prompting a pertinent question: before adding further financial burdens to citizens, shouldn’t the Government address these issues of inefficiency and incompetence? If you’re trying to keep water in a tank, doesn’t it make sense to repair the leaks first?

So, rather than burdening citizens with additional property taxes, the emphasis should be on ensuring competence; and implementing effective systems, processes, and procedures within the Government.

Of particular concern is the impending burden on the ‘Baby Boomer’ demographic due to the proposed property tax legislation. This demographic, either retired or on the brink of retirement, faces a significant reduction in income. It raises a critical question: why would a government deliberately impose property taxes on assets owned by retirees? Often asset-rich but cash-poor, retirees have dedicated years of hard work to home ownership and should not be subjected to additional financial strain during their retirement years.

Post-retirement, reduced income already places retirees in a precarious position, struggling to meet monthly expenses such as water bills, electricity bills, and home maintenance. The introduction of property taxes to their financial obligations could potentially force many retirees to contemplate selling their homes simply to make ends meet.

Let’s not forget that the children and grandchildren of those Baby Boomers may witness their elders lose the assets, for which they worked decades, to a government that will be perceived as grossly incompetent. Do we believe these intelligent young people will still be ‘red and ready’?

A viable solution to this dilemma is to advocate for ‘axing the tax’, with Baby Boomers leading this transformative initiative. The proactive involvement of the Baby Boomer generation has the potential to catalyze positive change within our country.

The primary focus should shift towards responsible governance, emphasizing efficient resource management and prioritizing the well-being of retirees who have made substantial contributions to society.

Before imposing any financial strain on this vulnerable demographic, it is imperative to address the broader issues at hand. Let us collectively strive for a government that ensures fiscal responsibility and places the welfare of its citizens at the forefront of policymaking.

Archbishop Gordon, you’re right: fairness hasn’t been a strong commitment in T&T, whether at the individual, group, or national level. But if we dig deeper, I’m certain we’ll uncover evidence that our government administrations have been enablers of white-collar crime over time. What’s even tougher to accept is that in many corners of our society, only a handful of people truly champion what’s right. And why should they? It often appears that doing wrong brings rewards, while consequences are absent. It’s as if the template we’ve been handed from the church is totally different from the one being used in everyday life here.

Let’s pause and consider what occurs when a political party wins an election. They don’t act like responsible leaders; rather, they behave like a group that’s “in charge now.” They rapidly hire their own friends and allies while sidelining those from opposing parties, even if those sidelined people are better fit for positions. It’s as if the concept of governing is completely absent from the government.

To me, three specific cases stand out from the current government. The Finance Minister dismissed the former head of the Central Bank of Trinidad and Tobago (CBTT), Jawala Rambarran. The court deemed this unfair and awarded Rambarran $7.5 million for his 2015 job loss. But why did the Finance Minister not face any consequences?

Then there’s Arjoon Harripaul, once in charge of the Deposit Insurance Corporation (DIC). He walked away with $2.75 million as a settlement for his lawsuit for unjust dismissal.

Another case involves 20 former employees of the Security Intelligence Agency (SIA), who received over $10 million in total for being let go during the Persad-Bissessar regime.

These three cases have cost taxpayers $20 million, yet no one has borne any consequences for this misuse of funds. If good leadership were the aim, there should have been a stronger focus on evaluating these individuals’ performance. Instead, it’s more like, “We’re in control, so we’ll remove anyone who supports the opposing party or voices disagreement.”

Our society suffers due to the unintended repercussions of poor leadership and corruption. In fact, ineffective leadership is allowing criminals easier access to government systems, enabling them to break the rules.

Many believe that knowing the right people lets you escape consequences. Hence, some build homes on public lands, fully aware it’s against the law, but they’re confident nothing will happen. Others occupy old train lines or flout rules as the norm.

For a better society, we must alter our approach. The current leaders have demonstrated their inability to bring about meaningful change. To see different outcomes, we need a fresh strategy. It’s our responsibility to discover our voice and express our concerns in a new way.

So I ask: how can we, as individuals, collectively shape a brighter path forward? The silence facing my question speaks volumes.